(Short) Filmi

(Fade in)

Aik dukaan mein aik larka salesman se jhagarti khwateen se nazrein bacha k doosri taraf moo kar k apni shalwar ka naara kasnay k liye qameez ka pallu uthata hai! Moqay ki nazakat ko na samajhtay huay uska dost phone pe kisi larki se baaton k dauran bekhayal se andaz mein uska naara khench deta hai jis ki waja se uski shalwar palak jhapakte he takhno k pass ja k girr jati hai. “Bhench…!” Khwateen linen k suit ka kapra mehsoos kartay huay peechay murr k dekhti hain aur jhuk k shalwar uthatay larkay k khaddar jese khurdaray aur siah chootron ko dekh kar aik wehshat bhari “haww” un k moo se nikalti hai. “Wo yellow wala dikhaen black dots wala!”

(fade out)

(Fade in)

Lying down under the shade of that tree in the park, she for some reason couldn’t think of anything except for just letting her eyes translate the view to her brain. She felt a pleasant pulse running through her body. Everything seemed to be so meaningful yet meaningless at the same time. She smiled at herself approving her ability to perceive and comprehend paradoxes, beauty and philosophy. She felt that her senses had enhanced and she could hear children playing far away. She could see the milky way.Suddenly she felt a severe pain in the left side of her waist and it was so sharp that she twisted into the fetal position. Right when a tear appeared on the edge of her eye, she let go the fart her bowels had been holding. Although the wind was blowing away she could still smell it; hence enhanced senses.

(Fade out)

(Fade out)

On a dark screen there was nothing but utter blackness. The giraffe, who just thought that he was one, tried to stamp his hoof playfully but didn’t know whether he was successful or not because it was so dark. He then ran but that too was uncertain as he was not sure whether there was ground under his feet or not. He started chewing on, what he felt like were, leaves, which brushed against his nose while his perceived running. He couldn’t tell, if asked of course, what actually he was doing. “Damn the darkness”, he maybe could have said but we cannot know for certain as he himself wasn’t sure. Then suddenly there was a sound (maybe) and before the light could reach him, he was dead for sure.

(Fade in)

(Superimposed image of a young man wearing tight pants over a landscape photo of Mount Fuji)

billofuji

(Fade out with Dila Teer Bija playing in Distant background)

*          White noise          *

Lull bateray!

Its been a long time that I have stopped giving a shit about things; things which were valuable to us as humans. I have tried to compile a list of shit which is replaced by other shit which now moves me. So there it goes while you idly scroll or troll this space.

1. A woman carrying a child in her arms and smiling at her is replaced by a women carrying a dead child and crying.

2. A young boy / girl being the most aware and helpful person around is replaced by a teenager energized by displays of being an asshole.

3. Passion is replaced by anger.

4. Love is replaced by sex.

5. A poor man is being replaced by a greedy man.

6. A middle class man is replaced by a selfish man.

7. A rich man is replaced by a total asshole.

8. A soldier is replaced by a man with a gun.

9. A teacher is replaced by an academic who had good grades.

10. A person driving a car is replaced by an angry and hasty motherfucker.

11. Forgiveness is replaced by revenge.

12. Dreams are replaced by jobs.

13. Trees are replaced by high-rises.

14. Self-respect is replaced by over-confidence.

15. Empathy is replaced by doubt and mistrust.

16. Real people are replaced by Facebook.

17. Chastity is replaced by Oh fuck it.

18. A pious man is replaced by a pretentious fuck.

19. A woman is replaced by a sexy woman.

20. An accommodating and tolerate person is replaced by an extremist fanatic.

21. A God-fearing person is replaced by a judgmental prosecutor.

22. Simple goodness is replaced by wicked shrewdness.

23. Comedy is replaced by sex jokes.

24. Debate for truth is replaced by debate for proof of self-righteousness and the eternal damnation of the opposing party.

25. Having a good time is replaced by drugs.

26. Sacrifice is replaced by the claim to rights. (haqooq ki jung…wtf)

27. Morality is replaced by practicality.

28. Having balls is replaced by showing them around.

29. Not having balls is replaced by pussies.

30. A living human being is replaced by a dead one.

Eid Mubarik to everyone!

A great pacifist music video by a Pakistani Band

http://vimeo.com/m/91094175
Do watch!

Taazay kanjar!

Bhei madarchod vai! Sasti shohrat hasil karnay ka aik he tareeqa reh gaya hai kia? Clichéd issues pe so called aik bold sa statement de do aur phir kisi pseudo liberal publishing house ko usko mash-hoor karne ki zimmedari lete dekho! Aik se barh k aik kanjar apni maa behan bechne k liye tyar betha hai. Mayawa masla kia hai ajkal k chootya pseudo intellectual half-baked roshan khayalo k sath? Bhenchod kisi celebrity ko utha lo, koi na koi tota, koi controversial interview, koi ghatia si commentary ya mazhab se transcend honay ka shoda sa daawa he inki wajah shohrat hota hai. Bas koi cheez mil jaye jis mein taboo pe satire azmanay ka moqa mil jaye, inki gaand mein 100 watt ka bulb roshan ho jata hai. Tameez, waza dari aur mutual respect ki maa ki kuss ho gai hai. Phuddi de na hon tay! Misaal k taur pe ap faris, mathira, beyghairat brigade, saeen aur bohat se up and coming so called artists ko dekh lein. Udher wo bharat walay sunny leone ko apni jaiz aulaad man-nay ko tyar ho gaye, amrika mein justin beiber aur miley cyrus payn yakko k naye badshah ban gaye hain. Maa ko lun warr gya hai tehzeeb lo! Ma chudao wai saray aur guzara karo ese lunnon k sath!

Stop!

I cant write anymore. With each passing second I become less capable of thinking coherently and losing the clarity of my mind and all without doing any kind of drugs. One of the many self-diagnosis is information overload. That is supposed to make me a better, wiser person but I don’t see that I’ve become better. I am concerned, apparently, but I only take a pee when I feel that it will go off in may pants anytime. I am into a paradox like a Ferris wheel. I hate it but I am loving it as well. What the fuck is this? I feel old as if nothing would amuse me; as if I expect anything and everything. Even the things I don’t know do not make me curious and sometimes the shittiest of gossip is like the best thing in life. I am not crying while I write and neither I am a loser who is compelled to say such things to make himself feel better. Its not self-pity either. Inertia fits the description maybe. I am OK and not OK with everything at the same time. I don’t see any meaning in pursuit of happiness rather I feel happiness should come to me if that is necessary at all. Maybe I should sleep but I am already overdoing it. I should do something creative or be helpful to others but I think I have lost a substantial chunk of my IQ. Fuck me, I have become the laziest person on earth. I don’t even end my sentences with fullst

What the Fuck is wrong?

Yani k bhenchod masla kia hai sari dunya k sath? Pehle to madar chod apnay shashkon k liye science ki maa chod k insaniyat ki khidmet k naam pe capitalist economy ko ungli ki aur ab jab luxuries have become necessities to usko tahaffuz dene k liye humanity ki maa mar k individualism ko pankha ho raha hai. Achay bhalay sharif log ganduo ki tarah zindagi guzarnay k bhanwar mein phanstay ja raha hain! Pait, property aur paida shuda bachon k naam pe insaaniat self-respect, morality, ikhlaaqiat aur humanity jese alfaaz se katra k chalnay lag gai hai! Aur koi baat fact ho na ho lekin maut behrhaal aik fact hai. Lekin majaal hai koi is daurr mein aahista honay ya rukh badalnay ka sochay bhi. Dair se rokay huay pishaab ki dhaar ki tarah sab hansi khushi bahay ja rahay hain. Ma’shray ki har satah pe maujood log pehle daman bachatay thay, phir behis ho gaye, phir be-reham aur akhir kaar zalim aur be-sharam ho gaye. Halaat aur zamanay ko gaalian de de in ki zubaan nahi thakti. meri bhi nahi thakti. mein bhi gandu hoon kyun k mein bhi is ma’ahsray k chota sa he sahi lekin juzv to hoon! mein is payn yakki se izhar e la-ta’alluqi bhi kar doon to na mujh pe koi haqeeqtan koi farq paray ga aur na he logon pe! insaano aur janwaron mein is din ba din ghat-tay farq ko dekhta hoon aur phir apnay panjay aur nikalti dum dekh kar khamosh ho jata hoon! LCDs aur LEDs ki rohsni ne aankhein band kar di hain! ya to mujh mein inhein phir se khonlay ki himmat aa jaye ya phir ye hamesha k liye band he ho jaen! mein taqatwar ho k apnay se kam taqatwaron ki bund nahi marna chahta. mein kamzor reh k apnay se taqatwaron ki bund marnay ki koshish nahi karna chahta. mein kameena nahi ban-na chahta lekin mein ban raha hoon. fitay mu hai mere! bhenchod sab pata bhi hai phir bhi hum rotay hain! fitay mu hamaray doghlay pan k! fitay mu!

Mein Lun v nai marda!

Aj is nafsa nafsi de alam vich mein tamam bund maraan valeyaan nu thallay likhi gai saari gallaan kehna chanda vaan:

Mein lun v nai marda oos paynchod nu jidyan akhaan haun par onuu nazar na aavay!

Mein lun v nai maarda moqa parast lokaan nu!

Mein lun v nai marda mazhab de naa tay gumhray karan waleyna nu teh nafrat da zehr palan valeyan nu!

Mein lun v nai marda lokan de sochun uttay te kuj na karan te!

Mein lun v nahi marda lun maran tay!

Mein lun v nai marda 4 kitaaban parh k lokaan di bund vich ilm de khanjar ghopan waleyan nu!

Mein lun v nai marda superpower mentality tay!

Mein lun v nai marda taqatwar nu vekh k koday hon waleyan nu!

Mein lun v nai marda oonu jinnu apnay tatteyan te yaqeen nahi!

Mein lun v nai marda zabaan, lun te khwahishat de ghulama nu!

Mein lun v nai marda unna noo jerhe janwaran jiddi laur rakhday nay tay apnay ap nu insaan aakhday ne!

Mein lun v nai marda sirf TV waikhan aleyan nu!

Mein lun v nai marda bandooq phar k apnay ap nu bahadur samjhan aleyan nu!

Mein lun v nai marda onna sareya paynchodan nu jinhan ne aj dunya ich agg lai hoi aye te lokan nu phuddu laya hoya aye, te jerhe phuddu lawaan te khush ne tay jerhe apna marna pullh gaye nay!

Tay sab to ziada mein lun v nai marda apnay ap nu kyun k haddi tutt sakdi aye!